Rediscover marital bliss
Yes, there’s actually a mathematics of blissful relationships, says psychologist John Gottman, PhD, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. To make marriage work, he says, you only need to know this ratio: 5 to 1. For every negative interactiona complaint, a disagreement, an outright argumentthere must be at least five positive interactionsa compliment, a smile, a touch, a shared laugh, a favor, a reference to a happy event, an expression of gratitude, and so on.
By offering simple acts of kindness, a couple creates what Gottman calls “emotional money in the bank,” currency they need to repair the relationship after a conflict. Simple ways to go positive: Kiss hello and good-bye, thank each other, be loyal, and let the little things go.